"Husbands, Love Your Wives" Part Two (Colossians 3:19)

Our passage says, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them" (Colossians 3:19). The institution of marriage is perfect, the people who enter it are not! In part two, we will deal with the second part of Paul's command which says, "do not be embittered against them." What is bitterness? Why is this command given to husbands? It brings to remembrance the command Paul gave to fathers concerning their children when he said, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger..." (Ephesians 6:4). Both bitterness and that of provoking comes from a response of a leader who feels threatened and tries to lead by force! When the leader's will is opposed, he dials up the pressure! In both cases, it points to husbands and fathers who rule their families with rigid and domineering authority! Recall from part one of our teaching that this type of headship is abnormal use or abuse! It's not for the benefit of those under the husband's headship. Many husbands read that Paul tells wives to submit to them, and they proceed to try to help their wives to obey that command by harshly asserting their authority as husbands. Husbands, loving your wives is what helps them to submit! Apostle Paul is telling us that harsh and rigid authority is not right for the husband who follows Christ. He says, "and do not be embittered against them!" Husbands, there are times when you have to go against the desires of those under your charge and assert your authority as the leader. But even then we can do it by setting the example of obedience ourselves. Being embittered is an anger that arises from disappointed expectations that have not been properly dealt with! It happens when someone you love (your wife) hurts or disappoints you. Let me state for the record that hurts and disappointments are inevitable in marriage! And both husbands and wives shout amen! If husbands don't deal with this issue, a reservoir of unsettled bruised feelings and anger builds. The more the reservoir grows, the more you blame your mate for your unhappiness in the marriage. Both partners begin to be short with each other and fuss and fight over trivial matters. However, the real problem is the reservoir of bitterness resulting from disappointed and many times unreal expectations that were never dealt with! Husbands, not being bitter implies controlling your anger and dealing with your hurts in a godly, loving way! Husbands, the emotional climate in our homes is to be set by us! That's why Paul gave husbands the command to love your wives! Agape love is always the initiator, never the responder. The wife's love will always be a responder to the husband's agape love! This is leading by example. This is leading God's way. This helps to keep husbands in obedience to the command of "do not be embittered against them!" Your move. Be encouraged!